Sunday, November 27, 2011

Averaging

Whose novacane baptism was
a soaking prayer on subway
car castaway penance willfully
endured through so many
shrieking stops and
starts and
comings and goings and
interruptions and
everyone's self
important story starts at
embarking and their story
starts at themselves and with
seven billion experiences
mashing and
mashing and
seven billion mashing.....

Emaciated

Hallowed valley of
promise milk and
honey promises a
constant gift from him of
a safe and steady
blanket pillow sort of
reliable comfort like a
friend like
sleeping like eye fluttering
vision like hunger like chewing like
her mouth and your mouth and
your mouth and mouths and
like learning so many lessons and
finally bawling and
gasping
and
a bus from
here to
New York City that
never leaves and
never arrives and
never
happened and
you actually
hated me but
I dream and
dream
and
dream
and
I dream
and
curse and
dream
and
you faked the entire thing

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Synecdoche

Something between a butler and a
killer dog, lurking in his pocket waiting
for a throat, lips dry, teeth like mountains,
you've climbed all over those teeth,
climbed between the sheets, climbed
on them in your car in stuck traffic,
told me secrets, climbed on me,
seizures through your songs be
-cause you couldn't rest on one
or any one, your
nervousness made you a
fucking angel in my eyes while
my hands white knuckled the
seat because beneath it I was
always breathlessly pierced
by your phantom spear,
woman throbbing, cock
in hand, killing me, killing
me with the volume of it
and
in some kind of coma angrily I
waited for the arrow and the
rush of blood from the mouth in
my back through my belly to
waterfall shit
kiss the earth and flood everything low,
small people whose small ideas
dozed pathetically hopeful like
some stupid grass, every blade the
same, dumb, sleeping or worse,
energized, rocketship spine
ironbanded barrelchest puffed out
erect and so proud
to be the guy that
lays with her and puts his
golden cock in her and
he imagines it's some kind of
miraculous event that finally,
the universe allowed it, or
finally, this is what we've
ALL
been waiting for and
this is what the universe was
literally
designed for
for this
humping eternity when he breathed I
love you and he
gasped
I fucking love you and
she made him say it again and
again and
he fucking
swore it
over
and
over and he
for once
actually came honesty,
honestly, he BREATHED,
really real breaths,
he rolled over, he was actually
actually breathing and feeling and
he
really, actually
felt like a
human


( <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> )


now

now is different,
again,
it's gone again

you're not coming back are you?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Climax With Anyone But Her

Worse than a pig's head that
bawls from your freezer and
worse than a peach pit that
broke your mouth and worse
than accidental treefall and
worse than blood on everything
and spit in your palm smeared
on her face and worse than
pages torn from that
good book that somehow
screams your name into
the darkest hour of your
month long period because
your vagina is a broken
misery and you
can't stem the flow of
iron tears
you're
gasping to
cry that baby and yes
you're a man but
somehow you're
this pregnant woman
you're so full you're so
ready to eject the life that
conceived itself within
your chest and for
nineteen months has
made your ears ring with
nothing and
nothing and
the loudest nothing
and worse than this life is
fear and worse than
this life is being
too scared to die and
worse than life is
climax because it
reveals how
empty you are inside
after you come.

The Passage of Time

You sit in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute .

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Teenage Mother

Cripple wind finger bone
break nail cut deep rift
cavern upswell seabed
ocean cloud bubbling
vents feed anaerobic eyes
drink heat down swell
thick healthy hell of
comfort blanketed
mummy tight ava
-lanche burning
brightly from
within to suffocate
his gasping skin
shrieking prayers like
birds diving suicide brave
into depths to catch fish
who never look up who
look only forward and
forward until they're
dragged up into a
breathless void to a
disemboweled afternoon
with scales upsetting teeth and
tiny bones choking babies
who are then shook upside down
and upside down and
upside down shaken
babies shaking babies
who shook her baby to death

she did

Saturday, November 12, 2011

tell a story

I met a boy with cracked hands today,
he told me he didn't love himself
i told him he should sleep
he started to cry and i held his
cracked hand so carefully and
told him he should sleep
and then i drank a glass of water and
we walked for some time down
so many streets i lost count
and all my words and all my
steps and every breath became
one blur and one breath and
i remember it happening like
so many photographs taken,
these beautiful streaming
thirtieths of a second that
wash like headrush
and the silence between the
camera opening it's mouth
and closing it is gaping
infinity and prayer orgasm to
the vastness of
forever and echoing and
echoing and echoing and
echoing and

suddenly
before i can tell him i love him he
becomes dust and then
no dust and I'm left standing with
my shadow

oblivions

Plug your hair baby
into
that light socket and
light up like a
Christmas tree for
me baby on fire baby
bright light burning for
ten days of night un
-til i breathe a mist of
tears that announces a
readiness for a certain kind of
death
one
that says i
loved
and i
lived fullness and i
tried
and
tried
until my
palms bled from
fingernail kisses that
hated every
thing and
time and
every
sick
fucking
face that
just wasn't
a cure to
this
infinite grey black searching
whose heart is a stomach whose
stomach is a mouth
whose mouth is teeth
whose mouth is snapping
snapping
snapping
snapping
snapping
snapping
need

my strangling hands
are
crushing infinity a
-round your
throat

this universe then
shouldn't be